Saturday, October 08, 2005

Strange names

I used to play a game with a formaer colleague, where we would research people with strange names. I haven't done it in a while, but now I have a forum where literally dozens of people can read. here are a few I have known along the way.

In Mobile Al alone you'll find:

A Dr. Barial and a Dr. Graves(who operated on me, no less)

A veterinarian named Dr. Slaughter

A minister named Anis Shorrosh

This is my personal favorite: A husband and wife medical practice. The husband was named Steve Smelly. His wife's name was Lisa Lott, and she hyphenated her name, so the sign on the door read: Steve Smelly and Lisa Lott-Smelly.

I swear I am not making this up.

Sniglets

Remember Siniglets? Ooh I just love them. Here are some, and more, obviously, will follow:

Aeropalmics (ayr o palm' iks) - n. The study of wind resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car window.

Agonosis (ah uh no' sis) - n. The syndrome of tuning into "Wide World of Sports" every Saturday just to watch the skier rack himself.

Aquadextrous - adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

Aqualibrium (ak wa lib' re um) - n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.

Arachnidiot (ar ak ni' di ot) - n. A person, who, having wandered into an "invisible" spider web, begins gyrating and flailing about wildly.

Bazookacidal Tendencies (bah zew' kuh sy dal ten' den seez) - n. The overwhelming desire of most individuals to reach out and pop the gigantic gum bubble billowing from someone's mouth.

Bovilexia (bo vil eks' e uh) - n. The uncontrollable urge to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!" every time you pass a cow.

Bowlikinetics (boh lih kih neh' tiks) - n. The act of trying to control a released bowling ball by twisting one's body in the direction one wants it to go.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Thanks Dad

The coach of the Tennessee Lady Vol basketball team is Pat Summitt, who is a legend here. Her maiden name is Head. Yes, her parents named her Pat Head.

And her father's name?

Drumroll please: Richard

In case Dave is looking

I just sent an email to Dave Barry, who is a hero of sorts to me. After my dysfunctional upbringing and a succession of embarrassing and humiliating personal events, he is one of my greatest sources of inspiration for my attempts at humor. Really, that's what they are. I just want to state for the record that I have stolen/used some of his blog entries as inspiration/ for some of my entries. Call it what you want, that's my story and I'm sticking with it.

Dumbest Pun of the day, part two

You remember Ghandi, right?

Well, he walked verywhere in bare feet, which made them very leathery.

He also fasted a lot, which made him thin and frail.

A side effect of the fasting was persistent bad breath.

Well... this made him a super calloused,
fragile mystic,
vexed by halitosis.

To think I went to college for six years.

Dumbest pun of the day, part one

What do you get when you cross an owl with a pirate's parrot?

A bird that hoots from the ship.

Yes I'm back

Wow, sorry I was gone so long. I got caught up with end of month deadlines. I promise I'll get back to business as the night wears on. I have lots of stuff to say and link, so I'll get right to it.